Tuesday, February 10, 2009
What Chris Brown Will Do Next
Now that singer-turnt-alleged assailant Chris Brown has found himself in such an unfavorable situation that he'd be willing to trade place with one of the townies in Tappahannock, Va., it's time for the fast dancer to make a move. Here's what I think might happen in the coming days.
Chris Breezy will announce he has voluntarily enrolled in anger management classes. He'll also mention that he plans to donate some loot to a battered woman's shelter. Then, he'll issue a vague statement, that kind of sounds like an apology, but really isn't. It may go something like this: "I regret that my actions have put those I love in bad positions, I'm just a young man who makes mistakes, I was an abused child, my dog ran away, blah blah blah."
If all that is followed up with a hot album and he "beats" the court case, Chris Brown can come back. But if those pictures of Rhi-Rhi looking like Randall "Tex" Cobb ever come out, it might not matter. He can throw in some chopped meat and diced tomatoes and put it on a plate. 'Cause it's a wrap.